I would have to learn a lot more by tomorrow evening if I wasto do all the rolling by myself. Marie told me that I wouldn't bedoing my lipstick right then so Marie only had to help me with mynight eye makeup.When Marie and I had finished the setting and make up, Mom came intothe room and told Marie to cover my rollers in a strong net and tiethe net tightly at the base of the back of my neck. This beingaccomplished, Mom took a lipstick from the vanity and opened it fully."Son, apply your lipstick for sleeping."I did the best I could. The lipstick was brand new and a vivid bloodred. To do my lips precisely would take a calm and firm hand withsuch a dramatic color being applied. As I did the right side of myupper lip my hand slipped and a smudge of red stained the skin justat the corner of my mouth. I froze with lipstick in mid stroke."NOT GOOD ENOUGH! You must be punished for not being able to do thesimplest of girlish actions. Go stand in the doorway, NOW!"I ran to the door to the. ..it waspencil skirts to plaid skirts...button down shirts to creamy sheerblouses...and of course...shoes to match each outfit. Luckily I hadcalled Mom to explain and she OK'd running up the AMEX for the shoppingventure.Back at my house Becky and I sorted out things...hung the clothes...and collapsed on my bed. This was to be one fun summer. Not only couldI be Molly but I could work as Molly all summer. I doubted any of thegirls from my class would recognize me...but then again I really didnot care...i was not part of any special group from my class other thangirls who understood and knew of my issues...and I would not be seeingthem at college ...so my security in myself grew more and more knowingI had to evolve. I had to push the envelope. My session with thetherapist that Friday was interesting. She was totally surprised that I would take this step...another sign that fit in my transgenderistprofile...she approved and felt thought I may be rushing things...itwas within the clinical.
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